November

These are not my words but I’ve always loved this song:
(I was listening to this song when I was on the train to Hampshire to disappear)

So I'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin;
I'll be alone, but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly;

I was afraid to be alone
But now I'm scared that's how I like to be;
All these faces run the same
How can there be so many personalities?

So many lifeless, empty hands
So many hearts in great demand;
And now my sorrow seems so far away
Until I'm taken by these bolts of pain;

But I turn them off, and tuck them away
Until those rainy days that make them stay;
And then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring, once here, now gone;

And they echo through my head everyday
And I don't think they'll ever go away;
Just like thinking of your childhood home
But we can't go back, we're on our own;

But I'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself, I'll find it in myself;

So we're speeding towards that time of year
To the day that marks that you're not here;
And I think I'll want to be alone
So please understand that I don't answer the phone;

I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
Until I can see nothing at all;
Only particles, some fast, some slow
All my eyes can see is all I know;

But I'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself, I'll find it in myself;